Time Travel: ONEOF THESE DAYS
Back in August it was a no-braine...: ONE OF THESE DAYS Back in August it was a no-brainer. Three great-granddaughters, one grandson, one son – three generations of Cheshir...
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
ONE
OF THESE DAYS
Back in August it was a no-brainer. Three great-granddaughters, one grandson, one
son – three generations of Cheshire’s had received the Phoenix College A.A.
diploma.
I was the only hold-out.
A lot of credits showed on my transcript, dating from 1944 and the
campus of Indiana University. They
continued strong at Phoenix College.
Those were the days I burned that candle at both ends. Work took maybe 50 or more hours a week –
writing at a time when I was selling stories to small magazines filled the
evening hours – and ah yes, maybe a few fun social kind of engagements. So, I dropped out, with intentions of “one
of these days.”
My youngest great-grandkid walked out on Hoy Field at
Phoenix College for her diploma last spring.
I was astonished. Where had those
71 years gone to?!! I knew I had to
search once more for my assortment of credits and make it four generations from P.C.
First I had to find Hannelly Center where credit and
counselors are kept. Back in 1967, when I had the honor of
introducing Dr. Hannelly for the dedication of the new Student Center, this
building had been the bright spot of the campus. But now other buildings had grown around
it. After some legwork I acquired an Advisor,
filled out the paperwork to enroll and once more became a student.
A Nutrition course, that would fulfill the needed Science
requirement, was available. Online! Hooray! The bonus would be the ease of taking
it. I could study when it suited me, hot coffee at hand’s reach, no bother to
dress or even comb my hair. Teacher
would not be asking for answers on a chapter I hadn’t read yet. I intended to ace this Course with ease and an
A plus.
My first clue that the Science of Nutrition might not be
as painless as I pictured came with the arrival of 900 loose leaf pages. Glancing
through this scientific volume brought a small chill. There were words . . . phosphorylation . . .
gluconeogenesis . . . phytochemicals . . . were these English or Greek? Chapters looked ferocious . . . Digestion, Absorption
and Elimination . . . Ugh!
I considered
backing out but my sister and son had paid for the hours ($299.00) and the book
($143.50) and I couldn’t admit I wouldn’t even try it.
My easy planning began falling by the wayside. I could study whenever I pleased and this
began to be constantly. Push the book
away . . . I couldn’t remember, I couldn’t understand. Time to take a break. Then the lessons pulled me back. Try once more. Morning hot coffee would be at my side . . . .
As well as afternoon cold coffee . . . and evening hot tea.
I missed my classroom teacher. No longer could I stay late and ask questions. Luckily Christine was patient and worked me through
answers when I couldn’t explain the questions.
My short term memory had abandoned me and the page I had
read ten minutes ago had become a blur. Slowly,
in spite of my reluctance, I began to decipher those foreign English words. The pink hi-liter in my hand marked out reminder
words as I read. The green A on a pink
sentence substituted for my lost memory.
It was not pretty, it was not easy. I waded through each
chapter, not looking ahead. Every day
had hours of deciphering: Find the
catabolic and anabolic reactions, which require ATP, glucagon, glycerol, losing
or accepting an electron. Through sheer drudgery I acquired an
acceptable grade on each lesson.
Luckily I didn’t know what waited ahead on the midterm
and final test or I would have found a way to forfeit the $450 bucks, get the beriberi
fever or something.
Then the instructor
emailed the procedure. Two tests. 45 questions with 50 minutes. 25 questions
with 30 minutes. Click the “next” button
and no return. We could take the test
anytime within three days but we were locked in to just over a minute per
question.
I gave it the best possible. For 24 hours I crammed through lessons, arranged
my color charts, organized the subject with colored words circled and
underlined. All preparations made. Papers spread around me in order and
reviewed. A cup of hot coffee on my
table.
I clicked my mouse and the 50 minute test was before
me. Get the worst over first. And I panicked. I knocked the mouse to the floor, grabbed my
coffee to keep it from spilling. Then
counted to ten and focused. It didn’t
make any difference if I failed, I would know I tried.
Questions appeared in three categories. If I had a recollection of the answer, I
clicked and moved on. If the words
brought a total blank, I clicked a guess and went to the next one. When it might be one of these green or red or
blue circles on my study sheets, I allowed 30 seconds to find it. Sometimes this worked.
The 50 minutes flew by.
I arrived at the last question without realizing it. Only 32 minutes showed on my clock. I wanted to cry, I wanted those lost 18 minutes
back.
I didn’t take a break which turned out to be another
mistake. But I had to get it over
with. Do the 35 minute test now instead
of dragging it out. My state of concentration
had exhausted me. I knew the answers
were there but they would not show up.
Yep, I flunked both of them. My grade average showed a good possibility
that I would flunk this course, my goal would be finished. There would not be another try now, I had put
too much into this one.
The lessons did not get easier, at least to my way of
thinking. We delved into the Diet
Review, that little Exercise whereby we kept track of every miniscule of food
we ate or drank. A know-it-all program
then spit out scary details about the good and bad in our individual
nutrition. Our assignment would be to further
analyze the results and hopefully improve our diet.
In my years of putting meals on the table my family put
up with burned potatoes and store bought cookies. I considered it reasonably
healthy. However, this program did not
agree. When I tried to justify my
methods on a lesson, the computer came close to putting me out of business.
I wouldn’t accept it; I had gone too far to
give up now. I wrote a pleading letter to teacher with my
reasons for the answers. She understood
and gave me points where the computer program wouldn’t.
The home stretch began.
Nutrition for pregnant women, for babies and then for senior
citizens. I had a few opinions on this
old age stuff but I made my keyboard give text book answers instead of mine and
I made it through.
Now came the last hurdle.
The speed tests were ahead.
Another challenge of a question per minute, click or pass, hit the
answer or guess. I set aside 24 hours to
give this full attention. When I
finished it, and looked at the computer-given grades, I poured a small glass of
wine cooler – a mixture of white zinfandel and orange Gatorade (durned
good). Then, with no attempt to rhyme,
just tell the news, I typed the following to family.
My wrist is taped with Ace bandage
Back is aching
Head is aching
Eyesight is a Fuzzy Blurry
Papers with red, blue and green colors
Spread in a semi-circle on chairs around me.
Teacup sits perilously on left edge of stand,
Timer sits threateningly on right edge.
And here are the results:
Final test scores
Low C (on 45 questions
in 50 minutes) 73%. Class average 76%
Low B on (30 questions
in 35 minutes), 83%. Class average 81%
AND
I DID IT
FINAL
SCORE IS 87.65 %,
A HAPPY “B”
A HAPPY “B”
Hooray! After
71 years I am going to graduate!
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